MindShift 05: On changing your life with 1 powerful tool

1st Step; Taking a Pause

I’ll never forget my mentor’s words—our character, who we really are, shows up in what we say, how we say it, and what we do. It’s a reflection of us in a nutshell.

That friend who’s always late or the driver creeping along? It’s easy to think, “They’re so unreliable” or “They’re holding me back.” But what if these thoughts are actually a mirror of who we are in that moment?

And the real kicker? That choice to be frustrated isn’t even making us feel good. It’s just adding more stress and frustration instead.

Pause Before You React

Next time you’re about to let loose with something critical, judgmental, or harsh, try this challenge:

• Take a slow breath in.
• Slowly let the breath out—not the words.
• Just pause.

The Three Decisions That Shape Our Lives

One of my mentors, Tony Robbins, has taught me something I use every single day—sometimes multiple times a day. In any moment, we’re making three quick decisions that shape how we feel and how we react:

1. What’s going on?
2. What does it mean to me?
3. How am I going to feel, and what am I going to do about it?

At any given moment, we choose what to focus on. Then we attach meaning to the event with our words—those words can be positive, negative, or neutral. Finally, we decide how we’re going to feel and how we’ll respond.

Example: A Friend Shows Up Late

Option 1: The Negative Lens

• What’s going on?
  “It’s 20 minutes past when we were supposed to meet—my friend is super late.”
• What does it mean?
  “They don’t care, they’re being selfish, they’re always late. Where the heck are they? What’s wrong with them?!”
• How am I going to feel and react?
  I get tense, my mood flips from excited to annoyed. My vibe screams frustration, and when they arrive, I’m short with them.

Option 2: A Different Lens

• What’s going on?
  “They’re 20 minutes late—same situation.”
• What does it mean?
  “Maybe they’re stuck in traffic, or worse, had an accident.”
• How am I going to feel and react?
  I feel concerned at first, then relieved when they arrive. I say, ‘I’m so glad you’re here,’ and my mood stays light and positive.

One Small Shift Can Change Everything

That slow driver?

• “They’re so slow” makes me grip the wheel tighter.
• “I’m glad they’re taking their time” lets me breathe easier.

Same moment, totally different experience—because I chose how to respond.

Probity: A Habit of Choosing Wisely

I love the word probity—it means having strong moral principles, being decent, and showing integrity. It’s about doing what most people don’t: pausing and choosing how to respond.

Without that pause, we react impulsively, letting words slip that don’t serve us. But when we stop and ask ourselves, “What am I focusing on right now?” we shift our responses to something that empowers us.

The Reality Check: It Won’t Happen Automatically

I’ve seen it time and again—people get even more upset when others don’t share their frustration about a person or situation. But if someone else is calm, level-headed, optimistic, or practical… shouldn’t we celebrate that?

It doesn’t matter how others see an event—what matters is how we see it. That’s what decides if we’ll end up frustrated, concerned, or happy.

Choosing a Life of Peace

This isn’t about faking positivity—it’s about actively choosing a better way to live, one pause, one shift at a time.

Society thrives on goodness, not complaints. Every day, there are more people doing good than harm. That’s why the world keeps moving forward.

And you? You’re part of that goodness.

Skip the crowd’s grumbling. Instead, choose wiser, kinder, better words.

Peace doesn’t come from reacting impulsively—it comes from responding with honor, making the world a brighter place.

A heart at peace, one that picks words to spark smiles, will always outshine the empty victories of words that sting. Pause. Rethink. Speak brighter, smarter, kinder words.

Try This – Share Your MindShift

Think of a moment that went sideways—a delay, a setback, a hiccup. Then:

• Take a deep breath in, let it out slowly.
• Grab your journal, your phone, or just reflect and ask yourself:
  • What am I focusing on that’s getting me frustrated?
  • What’s equally true that I could focus on instead?
  • What words can I choose to describe this moment that would shift how I experience it?
  • How would that make me feel?

Let’s Do the Work

If we want to level up our lives, we have to do the work. If this post helped you today, I’d love to hear from you!

See you next time,

With love,
Shyambo
P.S. Move this to your inbox and add me (hello@thebrightermindset.com) to your contacts!

P.S. Move this to your inbox and add me (hello@thebrightermindset.com) to your contacts!